KNOW YOUR RANKS: THE ROYAL AIR FORCE
AN AIR OFFICER.
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound,
Is more powerful than a locomotive,
Is faster than a speeding bullet,
Walks on water, gives policy to GOD.
A WING COMMANDER.
Leaps short buildings with a running start and favourable wind,
Is almost as powerful as a bulldozer,
Is faster than a speeding .22 slug,
Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool,
Talks with GOD if special request is approved.
A FLIGHT LIEUTENANT.
Makes high scratch marks when trying to leap short buildings,
Is run over by locomotives,
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury,
Talks to animals.
A PILOT OFFICER.
Falls over doorstep when trying to enter buildings,
Says “Look at the Choo Choo”,
Is not issued with a gun,
Plays in mud puddles,
Mumbles to himself.
A GROUP CAPTAIN.
Leaps short buildings in a single bound,
Is more powerful than a bulldozer,
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet,
Walks on water if the sea is calm.
A SQUADRON LEADER.
Barely clears Nissen Huts,
Loses tug-of-war with a locomotive,
Can fire a speeding bullet,
Is occasionally addressed by GOD.
A FLYING OFFICER.
Runs into buildings,
Recognises a locomotive two out of three times,
Has a gun but is not issued with ammunition,
Can stay afloat with proper instruction,
Talks to walls.
A NON COMMISSIONED OFFICER.
Lifts buildings and walks under them,
Kicks locomotives off the track,
Catches speeding bullets between teeth and eats them,
Freezes water with a single glance,
He is GOD.
Sweeps under buildings,
Puts locomotive back on track,
Picks up spent cartridges after speeding bullets have been fired,
Carries the water to be frozen,
He is the Son of GOD.